#MoreThanMean

I owe all of the women in my life an apology. While I have long been a supporter of equality and respect for all human beings, it took the video #MoreThanMean, posted by justnotsports.com, to make me realize that through my inaction and silence, I have inadvertently supported the culture of sexism and abuse. In the video, sports journalists Sarah Spain and Julie Dicaro sit across from different men who read some of the online abuse and threats masquerading as comments. It is painful to watch, but something we all should see.

It made me think of the vile online comments I have read directed at female reporters, bloggers, and commentators. My reaction to each was the same, “What’s wrong with that person? This is totally inappropriate, but I’m not going to feed the trolls, and ignore it.”

Now I have to own my part in the abuse because every time men like me ignore these comments, every time we fail to call people out for this behavior, we are supporting it.

So, today I’m ending my unintentional yet implicit support of this abuse.  Today, I vow to not let threats, degradation, or abuse go unchecked. I am adopting the same policy I read every day on the subway. When I see something I’m going to say something.

Although this kind of abuse is much more prevalent against women, some men suffer it because of religion, sexual orientation, etc, so I’m not limiting my new policy to just women. I’m going to follow it whenever I see another human being threatened, bullied, or harassed.

Please understand that I’m not talking about censorship or “political correctness”. I’m a staunch defender of free speech, but free speech means you have the freedom to express your opinion, it does not mean you have freedom from responsibility if you are threatening or harassing another person.

I’m going to start with the “Not All Men” commenters. When you ignore the threats of rape and violence, but then take the time to point out that not all men behave like that when people do stand up to the abusive posters, you are just making it worse. You want people to know that not all men are barbaric imbeciles? Show it by telling the abusive posters that we, as men, as a society, will no longer tolerate this behavior.

To those who have written abusive posts, we will no longer tolerate them. If you were trying to be funny, imagine someone wrote the same thing about a loved one in your life. Not so funny anymore, is it? And if you really believe that someone should face a violent fate just because they disagree with you, I urge you to seek professional help.

If you disagree with something someone has written online, including me, please feel free to post a comment doing so. As long as you are expressing your opinion in a relatively respectful way I’ll support your right to do so (even if you call me a complete ignoramus). Just know, that if you cross the line into threatening or harassing comments I will call you out.